 Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 16,441
shareholder in the making
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OP
shareholder in the making
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 16,441 |
Huh. I thought these were your own.
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015 |
Sorry, not my own. I've kineefered them.
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015 |
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6,928
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 6,928 |
Half of communication is listening. You can't listen with your mouth.
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 8,488 Likes: 1
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 8,488 Likes: 1 |
bibere usque ad hilaritatem
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596 Likes: 1
connoisseur
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connoisseur
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596 Likes: 1 |
OK. So it's just me and the dog until Saturday afternoon and I'm causing cochlear damage with the new remaster of the first Hendrix album right now. I'm a newbie, so I'm not gonna go through 45 pages of this thread to see if this is cool. Sorry, Amie.
The postman is on his last day after delivering the same route for 30 years.
He arrives at Mrs. Oakbury's house mid morning. She's waiting at the front door. She invites him in and seats him at the kitchen table for a "treat." She serves him "scratch" everything---ham, bacon, eggs, pancakes, muffins (2 kinds!), Kenyan coffee---the works.
He tells her that the other neighbors had given him little gifts, but this was really over the top. "Wait, there's more," she said. "Follow me."
She leads him upstairs to the bedroom and throws him the best roll-around he's ever had. "Whew, that was amazing," he said. "There's still more," she replied, as she got up, went to her handbag on the dresser, pulled out a dollar and handed it to him.
"What's this for?" he asked. "Well," she said, "I told my husband this morning that everyone in the neighborhood was getting you a gift. What should I do? He said, 'Fuck him, give him a buck.' But the breakfast was my idea!"
Last edited by BobKay; 03/25/10 05:46 AM.
Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015 |
 That's great!
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596 Likes: 1
connoisseur
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connoisseur
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596 Likes: 1 |
CatBrat:Am fond of your graphic. Always been interested in self-immolation, ever since the age of 13 when a cab driver in my city did it on the State House steps----successfully!
A joke for today. (So many people greet this with a blank stare when verbally told, so I'll see what happens here.)
A Taiwanese national is on his first vacation trip to NYC. He's been there for a few days now and he feels somewhat confident that he's getting a read on the people, the lingo and the place.
He's at 42nd Street & Fifth after visiting the NY Public Library.
He wants to get to his next destination, but need directions.
Spotting a cab stand, he leans into an open passenger window and queries the driver, "Ahhhh, you tew me how-a get to Empiyah State Biwding, or shoul' I jus' go fuck-a mysewf right now!?!?"
Last edited by BobKay; 03/25/10 05:13 PM.
Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,015 |
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Re: OT: Jokes
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 8,488 Likes: 1
axiomite
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axiomite
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 8,488 Likes: 1 |
This isn't exactly a joke, but...
My daughter has an American-born Vietnamese friend in some of her classes at High School. He does NOT have an asian accent of any kind.
His name is Billy Lam.
He refers to himself in the third-person as "Beery Ram".
bibere usque ad hilaritatem
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