Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 133
veteran
|
veteran
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 133 |
Ikea is getting into antiques...
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 133
veteran
|
veteran
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 133 |
Oh and I'd be remiss if I didn't share this blond joke
Last edited by DrunkenWolf; 08/02/06 08:40 AM.
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 18,044
shareholder in the making
|
shareholder in the making
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 18,044 |
That's pretty rich...
I am the Doctor, and THIS... is my SPOON!
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,189
connoisseur
|
connoisseur
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,189 |
Hilarious, but I didn't get the part about the penguin?
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 95
old hand
|
old hand
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 95 |
The penguin was wearing a BLONDE WIG! Hilarious!
2xM60ti, 2xM3ti, 2xQS4, VP100, EP350, N2's
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,189
connoisseur
|
connoisseur
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,189 |
Oh, now I get it!
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,301
connoisseur
|
connoisseur
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,301 |
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.
"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Mommy fainted!
: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 16,441
shareholder in the making
|
OP
shareholder in the making
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 16,441 |
How did the Roman rapist confess his sin?
"Vidi, Vici, Veni"
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,301
connoisseur
|
connoisseur
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,301 |
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other.
One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?
"Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty- five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
|
|
|
Re: OT: Jokes
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,654
shareholder in the making
|
shareholder in the making
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 10,654 |
Ah yes, Michael, attitudes toward the death of a spouse do differ. Another example was the search that the CIA was conducting a few years ago for an assassin. After doing thorough background checks, three candidates for the job remained in the running. For the final test each of the applicants was handed a gun, informed that his wife was sitting in a chair in the next room, and told that he had to kill her. One immediately protested that he never could do something like that, and so was disqualified.
The second candidate walked into the next room, but a minute later came out with tears streaming down his face, saying that when he saw her he was too overcome to shoot. He was also disqualified, of course.
Then the third applicant walked to the room and almost immediately a string of thirteen shots was heard, followed by much banging and screaming. He came out somewhat disheveled looking and panting: "You didn't tell me the gun was loaded with f***ing blanks! I had to kill the bitch with the chair!"
-----------------------------------
Enjoy the music, not the equipment.
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics24,951
Posts442,539
Members15,623
|
Most Online2,082 Jan 22nd, 2020
|
|
0 members (),
1,144
guests, and
3
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|